Jokes Thread!

Rate this Topic
 


Displaying #136-150 of 221 total posts First Previous  6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14  Next Last
24854 Nibs: 12,006
Member Since: Feb 28th 2006
Quote
Posted on Feb 9th 2008
A blonde, brunette and a redhead had a breaststroke swimming race across the English Channel. The brunette came in first, the redhead came in second and the blonde never finished. When the blonde got in the lifeboat she said, ''I don't want to be a tattletale or anything, but the other two used their arms.''
Feed the Fish! Not the Sharks!.
72412 Nibs: 1,463
Member Since: Dec 18th 2006
Quote
Posted on Feb 15th 2008
A big Texan stopped at a local restaurant following a day roaming around in Mexico. While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the smell was wonderful. He asked the waiter, "What is that you just served?" The waiter replied, "Ah se√Īor, you have excellent taste! Those are called Cojones de Toro, bull's testicles from the bull fight this morning. A delicacy!" The cowboy said, "What the heck, bring me an order." The waiter replied, "I am so sorry se√Īor. There is only one serving per day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy." The next morning, the cowboy returned, placed his order, and that evening was served the one and only special delicacy of the day. After a few bites, inspecting his platter, he called to the waiter and said, "These are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you serve yesterday." The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, "Si, Se√Īor. Sometimes the bull wins. "
74201 Nibs: 1,070
Member Since: Jan 17th 2007
Quote
Posted on Feb 16th 2008
someonewrote a secret will today, he can't say what was in it because it would be a dead give away
aikipt
74201 Nibs: 1,070
Member Since: Jan 17th 2007
Quote
Posted on Feb 17th 2008
Saw a Blindman TodayAt the cash machine..........He asked me to check his balance.....So I pushed him over!....
aikipt
69771 Nibs: 2,248
Member Since: Nov 14th 2006
Quote
Posted on Feb 17th 2008
Ever been stumped by someone saying "Hows your wife and my kids?"Well say to them "The wife's fine, kids are retarded"Courtesy of Mike Gatting
I talk so much everyone stopped listening a long time ago
82952 Nibs: 2,802
Member Since: Sep 19th 2007
Quote
Posted on Feb 24th 2008
A¬†drunk man comes in to a bar and ask's the bartender :man :¬† May i have¬†3¬†coffes ?¬†bartender¬† : 3¬†coffes just for you ?man : no ,one is for me , the other one is for you ,and the other is for you f****** mother.The bartender serves the 3 coffes , makes the man pay¬† for the coffes and then beats the cheat out of the man, puts im in the street teeling im never to come in again.next day man shows up again even more drunk ,and just as the bartender goes to him to kick him out ,¬†he says:man :Whait , just whait , i'am sorry for yesterday ,can i drink something ?bartender :OK but only if you¬†your nice this time .man : OK , then i would like¬†2 coffes .batender :2 coffes ,hahaha , let me guess one for you ,one for me.....man : no,no, the coffes are ¬†one for me ,one for your f****** mother ,and its better for you to drink a beer because when you drink coffe you get very nervous and agressive.Hope you guy like this one.¬† 
OK OK I FOLD!!!
24854 Nibs: 12,006
Member Since: Feb 28th 2006
Quote
Posted on Feb 25th 2008
A dying man smells his favorite oatmeal raisin cookies cooking downstairs. It takes all the strength he has left but he gets up from the bed and crawls down the stairs. He sees the cookies cooling on the counter and staggers over to them. As he reaches for one, his wife's wrinkled hand reaches out, smacks his and she yells: "No, you can't have those! They're for the funeral!"
74201 Nibs: 1,070
Member Since: Jan 17th 2007
Quote
Posted on Feb 28th 2008
A rooster and a cat were playing by the pool. the cat fell in and the rooster laughed. The cat said, a wet pussy always makes a cock happy!
aikipt
82952 Nibs: 2,802
Member Since: Sep 19th 2007
Quote
Posted on Feb 28th 2008
When a blond dies, another  (Y)  shape cascet is born .
OK OK I FOLD!!!
88608 Nibs: 510
Member Since: Feb 29th 2008
Quote
Posted on Feb 29th 2008
What are the three quickest ways of spreading a rumour?a. Telegramb. Telephonec. Tell a woman 
74201 Nibs: 1,070
Member Since: Jan 17th 2007
Quote
Posted on Mar 6th 2008
Three blondes were walking through the forest when they came upon a set of tracks.The first blonde said, "Those are deer tracks."The second blonde said, "No, those are elk tracks."The third blonde said, "You're both wrong, those are moose tracks."The blondes were still arguing when the train hit them.
aikipt
87110 Nibs: 1,158
Member Since: Feb 6th 2008
Quote
Posted on Mar 19th 2008
"Mom, why do we celebrate christmas this year in march""Kid, u know ure ill" 
46792 Nibs: 2,643
Member Since: May 13th 2006
Quote
Posted on Mar 25th 2008  -  Subject: Jokes
Hey I was wondering where the jokes were here?
IOPENA (Eye Opener)
66305 Nibs: 1,530
Member Since: Oct 7th 2006
Quote
Posted on Mar 25th 2008
sounds good thanks
Its hard to tell if I,m Bluffing
82952 Nibs: 2,802
Member Since: Sep 19th 2007
Quote
Posted on Mar 29th 2008
why do the blond took the surf board to a net café ?_To surf on the web.
OK OK I FOLD!!!
Displaying #136-150 of 221 total posts First Previous  6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14  Next Last

header

[close]